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Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make.

Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally. It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay. Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce. But she dating tips for man knull porr she could barely function for a full year after the split.

Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace. Psychotherapist Pandora MacLean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are. Choose your counsel wisely. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.

If you and your husband have complicated combined assets, you may need additional pros. Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement. Dig deeply into your joint finances. So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.

Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which dating tips for man knull porr had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman. Ask your attorney when and how it's best to gather this info first, dating tips for man knull porr. Figure out your future living expenses ASAP.

Your financial well-being should be your top priority, says divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank. Step one: Thoroughly understand your current cost of living before the divorce proceedings start. Anticipate unexpected costs. Even with carefully planning out your future expenses, something surprising may pop up. Caitlin, 55, from Tarrytown, NY, recommends requesting a one-time payment, separate from alimony.

You'll need it. Trying to hurt your ex usually backfires. Newman says that a dating tips for man knull porr of hers told her husband's boss about his affair with his secretary and ended up getting him fired. Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.

Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable. Some of those stigmas still exist, she says, so remember that divorce doesn't define you. The holidays will be harder than you expect. Amanda, 29, from Albuquerque, NM, was married for over six years dating tips for man knull porr her divorce.

So make sure you stay busy during that difficult time of year. Your kids won't tell you how they really feel about the divorce, but their behavior will. Doares, author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage.

So monitor your kids' actions to understand how they're dealing. Watch out for little ones regressing in their behavior—acting younger, wanting to sleep in bed with you—or showing anger toward siblings and peers. Adolescents tend to act out by drinking, skipping school or disobeying curfews. To get things back on track, Doares suggests nackte frau auf allen vieren issues as a family so everyone can talk about the changes together.

Also, inform your child's teacher of the new situation, but don't automatically put your kid in therapy. Divorce can be freeing—and totally worth it. Annie, 47, from Boston, felt like she didn't have any talents, besides caring for her kids, before divorcing in She now has a blog, PlentyPerfect.

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